


What Is My Objective?

by fincherly, susies_fandom_wonders



Series: Detroit: Become Human [2]
Category: Detroit: Become Human (Video Game)
Genre: Gen, connor getting used to bein' human, may be multiple chapters, somewhat supportive hank
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-06-27
Updated: 2018-06-26
Packaged: 2019-05-29 05:12:03
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,696
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15065876
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fincherly/pseuds/fincherly, https://archiveofourown.org/users/susies_fandom_wonders/pseuds/susies_fandom_wonders
Summary: Connor is getting used to having emotions.





	What Is My Objective?

Connor was sitting on the couch in Hank’s home, hands fidgeting now that Hank had taken away that quarter he had used to flit back and forth between both his hands. His LED flitted between yellow and red, his mind whirling.

The revolution had ended a few weeks ago -- six weeks exactly, Connor concluded, after checking his memories. He was deviant. He had no clear objective to follow, and that terrified him. Hank had called him OCD a few times with a warm smile, and looking up the term provided enough information that Connor also concluded that he probably was.

The android was pained when he first realised he had feelings for the lieutenant. He was an android, he wasn’t supposed to be feeling, or going against what he was programmed to do, or anything. He was supposed to accomplish a task, but what task _was_ that now?

He felt useless without the comfort of his program; he hated that he actually missed the order of it, of Amanda reprimanding him whenever he failed a mission. He just wanted to stop _feeling_ so much -- and if Hank returned his feelings, what could Connor do? He was a machine, designed to accomplish a task. Love and intimacy was never programmed into his software. How could he reciprocate? Would Hank eventually get tired of the emptiness?

Connor was a _android_ , for Christ’s sake. The emotions he was already feeling was nearly too much; how would he be able to show love and affection? He’d seen other androids do it, but him?

He was a prototype. He wasn’t meant to still be here. CyberLife was on their way to replace him before he’d gone deviant. The others -- Markus and North, specifically -- seemed to have a better time with affection than Connor did. Was the mental strain, the sadness, caused by his coding being… incompatible with actions such as these?

Hank would be more satisfied with someone else. He wasn’t fit. He wasn’t properly equipped to love, and it wasn’t a patch that he could just download. He certainly didn’t think he could be _taught_ , at any rate.

“Kid? Ya doin’ okay?” Connor actually flinched before looking up at Hank. The older man was staring back down at him, eyebrows furrowed in concern. _At least he can show emotions_. “You’re breathin’ pretty damned heavily for someone who doesn’t need air.”

Connor opened his mouth, then closed it, feeling his throat closing up. He felt something burning in his eyes. Hank’s eyes widened.

“Hey, hey, Connor. What’s goin’ on? What’s botherin’ ya?”

“Nothing is… nothing is wrong.” Hank reaches out to his face, and tapped the LED on Connor’s face gently. God, how he wished he’d removed it in this moment. His eyes were wide, saline tears blurring his vision.

“This says otherwise.”

“That’s impossible. My systems have no reason to be overloaded like this --”

“You havin’ a panic attack, Connor?” The android wheezed out a shaky breath.

“I-I don’t… I don’t know. I have anything to cross-reference these emotions with.” Hank frowned, then sat down next to Connor.

“Tell me what’s goin’ on in you head, then. There’s gotta be somethin’ that’s freaking you out so much.”

Connor wheezed, trying to think. He could feel his processors start to overwork, his body warming up and fans kicking on to try and keep him cool. His eyes flitted back and forth, and saline tears finally began to stream down his face. Hank’s frown only deepened, and if Connor wasn’t freaking out, he’d have registered alarm and fear in the lieutenant’s eyes.

“Alright, Connor, just -- Connor, look at me.” The android looked up at Hank, warning after warning appearing in his vision. “Try and calm down. Everything’ll be okay.” Connor stiffened when Hank wrapped an arm around him, bringing him close. “Focus on something.”

“I… I don’t understand why…. You wish to be close with an… a prototype. An… I’m _unfinished_.”

“Don’t say that shit. You aren’t broken, or unfinished. You’ve made your own decisions -- all life makes their own decisions. No other android is exactly like you.”

“I am not a person, Hank. You know this. I am a manufactured machine, a product, just like a cell phone or a calculator. There’s no reason for me to…. _Mmph_ \--” Connor was cut off when he was pushed into Hank’s chest, breathing heavily. He was caught off guard when he could feel Hank’s heartbeat, and found himself focusing on that.

“Don’t talk. Calm down.” Hank rubbed circles into Connor’s back. “If your processors decide to lose their shit, then it’s game over. I don’t want that happening.”

**Self-Destruct?  
Probability of Overload: 52%  
Thirium Pump Overworked  
Stress Level: Critical**

“Connor, Connor, come back to me, kid.” Connor blinked a few times before focusing on Hank’s face, which was pinched tight with fear. “Listen to me. You’re….” He paused. “You’re my android, yes? Meant to follow my orders?”

“I was created to follow you and obey orders, yes.” Hank cringed.

“Then I’m gonna ask you to do your damndest to not self-destruct.” Connor blinked.

**New Objective: Don’t Self-Destruct?  
[ ] Find Another Way To Calm Down  
???**

Connor’s mind began to clear -- this was an approach he could work with. Hank was rocking him, urging him to calm down, before his stress levels lowered to a manageable range. If he followed Hank’s orders, he’d be fine. Following orders would be easy, right?

…

Would he _want_ to follow orders? Would this so-called _free will_ get in the way of everything? What if he rebelled?

“What would be the first response to any defiance I may show in… personal matters? Such as refusing to talk about emotions, or demand affection when you don’t offer it?”

“That would be fine. You are alive, Connor -- you feel emotions, you have your own damned thoughts and actions, just like anyone else.”

“I am a _machine_ , Hank. I am not equipped to act on organic functions, nor am I fit for personal connections. I have no reason to want --”

“Sh.” Connor went still. “Are ya really fuckin’ worrying about relationships? You’re not required to be goddamn _human_ to have them.”

“What if it’s you I am worried about?”

“Me?” Connor felt, rather than heard, Hank chuckling. “Why worry about me?”

“What if I… don’t wish for just a platonic relationship between us anymore?” Connor waited a moment. Hank went silent, though he gave a sharp inhale; his heart skipped a beat. “I am a machine -- I’m not human, I’m not -- I wasn’t built to want things for myself. I was never built to be mine.”

“You’re free now.”

“I was not built to have freedom. It is… difficult to go against my programming.”

“Alright son, I gotcha, I gotcha. Just stay calm, okay? Emotions are a bitch to deal with, and I’ve had ‘em all my life. You’ve only had them for how long?”

“Approximately six weeks, one hour, and… six minutes.” He felt the warmth of Hank’s hand on his back, natural heat -- he had always been in some sort of awe by that fact alone -- humans had their own natural heat. He felt his own face growing warm. “Hank, would you be opposed to….” He clamped his mouth shut. He felt Hank holding his breath.

**Probability of Overload: 27%  
Thirium Pump Irregularity  
Thirium Pump Overworked**

“Opposed to what, Connor?” Hank finally asked.

“O-Opposed to forming a… romantic relationship. With me.”

**Probability of Overload: 64%  
WARNING: Overheating. Please find a cooler area.  
Thirium Pump Irregularity  
Thirium Pump Overworked**

“Connor --” The android couldn’t even look at Hank, breathing in quick, shallow gasps in an attempt to cool himself down.

“I-I understand if you don’t wish to have one. This is an odd situation, and I don’t know if you are ready to have one yet, or if you’re even interested, or --”

“Connor, listen to me for once in your fucking life.” He looked up at Hank, and the lieutenant brushed away some of the tears. “Connor -- hey, can you look at me? -- I love you too.”

Connor’s processors froze. If he could see his LED, it would have been a flickering deep red.

**Probability of Overload: 89%  
WARNING: Processing Malfunction. Please Return to CyberLife For Testing.  
WARNING: Overheating. Please find a cooler area.  
Thirium Pump Irregularity**

“Hey, hey, Connor, don’t self-destruct on me.” Hank had cupped Connor’s face in both his hands. “Do you hear me? Don’t you fuckin’ do it. I dunno what I’d do if you just up and stopped working on me.”

**Don’t Self-Destruct?**

“Listen to me, Connor. Calm down, right now, and pay close attention to what I have to say.” Hank waited for a moment. “Listen. You used to irritate the shit out of me with your whole shtick -- sometimes you still fuckin’ do, but that’s besides the point. After that -- after that first time you had died to that deviant ripping out your pump, I realized I loved you. Your cluelessness to my goddamned emotions, your _eyes_ \-- and I felt fucking _guilty_ for that. And having you die in my arms, I… thought I had lost my opportunity to tell you. And then you were back, and _alive_.” Connor had stilled completely. “But I was still a fuckin’ wuss, because I was so worried that -- you didn’t want me anyways, because _look at yourself_ , Connor. You’re _perfect_. Hell, you do my job better than I could only ever fuckin’ hope of _dreaming_.”

**Probability of Overload: 81%  
WARNING: Overheating. Please find a cooler area.  
Thirium Pump Irregularity**

“Hank, I’m terrified,” Connor whispered. Hank brought him close. “I-I… need to cool down, a-and… the probability of an overload is exceedingly high.” He barely registered the lieutenant tensing.

“Tell me how to fix it.”

“I… a cold shower may be beneficial.” Hank was already standing up, pulling Connor to his feet. “I… as of yet, I do not know how to keep myself from overloading.”

“Would there be anyone who does?”

“I-I….” Connor reached out to the first person that appeared in his mind. “I have contacted them, and they should be on their way soon.”

“Let’s get you in the shower, then. Just try and stay calm, okay?”

“Yeah… yeah.”


End file.
